How on earth do you stay motivated when you feel like you have a continual flow of rocks being thrown at you? It is one thing after another that you are clutching your chair, awaiting the next disaster to hit. Even sitting on your sofa staring at your dog, you anxiously stare at him as if you are waiting for him to stop breathing. Like you are cursed with bad luck. It may be a particular day, a week or even a year of a domino effect of disaster.
As if having a chronic illness like Multiple Sclerosis was not enough I got hit with a lot this week. MS flare ups, having a dead tooth pulled (yes it was one of my front teeth) and yet here I am writing this blog. I forced myself to shower, wash my hair and wait for it...yes I even shaved my legs...thighs included. When you’re as Italian as I am, yes this takes a while. So this was a huge accomplishment for me today. I will be honest because that is my job in terms of being an advocate for something. You can’t have the good without the bad and I’ll tell you this like I know my name or urinary frequency schedule...it’s been one rough week….month actually. Let's make a smoothie...ready? Let’s throw in some chronic pain, add some anxiety, include some painful tooth removal, just a pinch of a double breast biopsy and don’t forget to add the ice, almond milk with a splash of global pandemic. Blend that baby up! That’s one hot mess of a smoothie right? Yet we have to down it or else we would be wasting good ingredients. Now you might be thinking to yourself…”Britt, how on earth can I consider things like chronic pain, disability and a global disaster a good ingredient?” I hear you...trust me, I get it. It’s having the will and optimism to take what you are given and make something good from it. We have no choice but to deal with what we are handed. We can’t run away from it. We can’t avoid it. We can choose to see only the bad in things or we can tell those thoughts to go shove it and find the good in the situation instead.
Now let's go back to our first topic of staying motivated. This is a hard one. For me it’s been a daily struggle and challenge. I will admit this. We have to first of all allow ourselves to have those days where we accomplish absolutely nothing. I’m dead serious. Nothing. If the only thing you did was walk to your fringe for a snack, then good for you! That’s enough for you on that particular day. Now if this became a daily habit that continued for a week or even a month then it’s a different story and we need to figure out a way to pull you out of that shlump. But a day or two of “nothing” ain’t gonna kill you. Quite frankly...I think it’s really good for you. My husband always promotes this for me. I constantly feel the need to be productive and work on something. Writing, Videos, advocacy, photo shooting, cleaning, rearranging all the furniture in my house. Something. I find it hard to sit still and just do nothing. As if I am wasting the precious time the Lord has given me. Sometimes Jesus chills out you guys. I like to imagine him and God just vegging out in their robes kicking it to some Netflix or something.
Sometimes we need that “nothing” time to kickstart us back into “something” mode. Now what about that domino effect. The one thing after the other, why is this happening, seriously what else could go wrong, moment. I swear these tragedies seem to come in waves. Just when it gets quiet and things seem to be going back to normal, boom, there comes another shock wave to knock you on your a%$ and you start from square one picking up the pieces all over again. The part we have to start developing more is the “bracing of the wave” if you will. We can stand there with helmets on and body padding waiting for the wave to hit or we can grab some wood, make a surfboard and ride that mutha when she comes rolling in towards us. Once we become more accepting of the “boom effect” it causes less shock factor in our lives. For me, I don’t know, maybe i’ve just gotten really good at accepting things because I’ve had a lot of bad things happen in my life, especially for someone my age. Some days I feel 31 and others I feel 71. That’s ok too. Getting motivated after having a long lull of “nothing” can be tricky. It’s like eating bad food for months….and then all of a sudden quitting cold turkey and only ingesting kale and fish. Part of you wants that burger or in this scenario...a “nothing” burger. Start slow...know and accept that you are under no circumstances going to be perfect in your attempt to get busy again. Baby steps are the key for longevity in anything. If we go in guns blazing we are going to burn out super fast and then there we are back on the nothing train for another few weeks. So set up time for yourself to make those little baby steps back into motivation land. If you’ve been locked in a depressive, unmotivated, crap filled spot, don’t beat yourself up. Be proud of it. You’re obviously smart enough to know that something was off. You are aware enough to acknowledge to some degree that you are in a funk. Awareness is incredible in this situation. Because you are able to identify something is off. You may not know what caused it but you can understand enough that something is funky. Good for you! This is great news! This is the first step. Second step, baby steps. Start by doing one small thing for yourself daily. Then the next day, do two small things for yourself. Everyday add something new. It could even be as simple as brushing your hair or putting on a clean shirt. These things could even be applicable in a mental sense. Make a list of qualities of yourself you really like. For me I admire my sense of humor. I promise you. By making these teeny baby steps on self care and adding new ones daily, after a week or so you will find yourself slowly crawling out of that funk and back into motivation land. And if you fall again back into “nothing-ville”, that is perfectly fine. Just try to start the process all over again.
I’m telling you this because I know it works. Why? Because I’ve done this recently and I'm living proof. Will it work for you? We don’t know. But aren’t you gonna try and prove me wrong? I dare you love. Try it. This month has been insane for me. I got my genetic cancer results back placing me in the danger zone for breast cancer. I got my results from my mammogram back and they are demanding a double breast biopsy in a few days. A few days ago I had a tooth pulled due to the root dying a few years back. I kinda look like a pirate which is super fun actually. My kids love my new pirate impressions. I am 2 months late on my Multiple Sclerosis medication and steroid infusions due to being quarantined. Our world has gone to hell in a handbasket as of late and I would love to hug another adult other than my husband. Why am I telling you this? It’s not for pity so if you’re feeling the “oh my goodness, i’m so sorry” quit that junk right now. I’m sharing this with you all because I am honest to God blissfully happy. Right now in this moment. I am at peace. I understand what is done is done and what will take place will ultimately take place regardless of what I do to prevent it. So I roll with it and make jokes along the way. When I left the oral surgeons office after he pulled my tooth I left saying “Argg I have to go find me booty now. Yee have any rum to take along with me?” He laughed and probably thought I was insane but hey, I left that office smiling, missing tooth or not. I’m not faking my way into being happy. I am genuinely happy. We are all capable of this. Regardless of the circumstance.
So if you’re not motivated and life is throwing rocks at you, take the time you need to exist in the “nothing” for a while. Don’t beat yourself up. Why do you think animals go into hibernation? Think about it. If you are trying to dodge one rock after the other then grab a bucket and start catching them! Collect them and reflect on them. You can truly learn from every situation you go through in life. It’s there to make you stronger, to build character. You can find joy and peace. I promise you this.