It’s a beautiful day. The sun is shining. The dishes have magically washed themselves. You have the afternoon to yourself. You remembered you have that $50 Barnes and Noble Gift Card from Christmas and there’s just a little extra pep in your step today. You decide to take a walk to B&N to get lost in the aisles of books for an hour or so. Today is all about you! The world is your oyster!
You throw on your favorite hoodie and head out. While on your way suddenly, out of nowhere, some random wacko starts throwing rocks at you. Every time a rock hits your body, naturally it causes pain. One hits your head, just above your eye. “Ouch that hurt.” In comes another, nailing you in the leg. “Woah! What was that for?” you yell back. Before you can confront your assassin, they are already gone from sight. Nowhere to be found. You’re left frazzled and confused. So you try to continue your walk where you left off. Prior to the rock throwing.
Still feeling the aftermath of pain from your recent attack, you decide to enjoy a latte at the Cafe prior to your literary pilgrimage. While carefully sipping your perfectly brewed cup of love, someone punches you square in the face and again, takes off running in the opposite direction. Not only are you now wearing your latte but you can’t feel your face. You can’t even tell where your face starts and the latte ends. You think to yourself, “Fantastic. I’ve been assaulted again for no reason, I’m in pain and can’t feel my face. And to make matters worse I can’t even confront my attacker.”
Now the likely hood of the above events actually happening to you are slim to none. Unless of course you live in a high crime area or you are plain out asking for trouble. But living with a Chronic Illness like Multiple Sclerosis can honestly feel the exact same.
“We are confronted with ghostly assassins on a daily basis that inflict physical pain and torment for no reason other than to remind us that our immune system enjoys attacking itself.”
Sharp shooting pains, numbness, tingling, burning sensations. You name it. Apparently our immune system didn’t get enough love as a child or something. Maybe it needs a hug. But the truth remains. We are faced with sensations that come out of nowhere and can interrupt us at any time. We can’t even see the assailant. Yet we endure the rocks being thrown at us.
If you’ve had rocks thrown at you today or you’ve been socked in the face, it’s ok to feel defeated. I’ll shoot it straight to you because I don’t believe in sugar coating life. My husband jokes that my tombstone will read “Never sugarcoated anything” But to be as real as I can be, yes, I’m feeling pretty defeated at the moment. Even while I’m writing this to you. But think about it. All you wanted to do was enjoy your day, take a jaunt to the bookstore and get lost for a while. But look at what you went through to get there. You were attacked by an unseen force. Lost feeling in your face. Fought through the pain and you’re still here. You’re kinda awesome. Give yourself some more credit.
